+vely -ve

Beware

2012-02-13T22:03:00.001+08:00

Alright, here it goes.

The last time I updated my blog was late January & this is what has been happening my life ever since.

The secondary school mates & I celebrated Fidah's 19th. It was a simple celebration but as always, we managed to have so much fun out of it. Part of the surprise was a crown (It was supposed to be a tiara but I couldn't find any), a magic wand HAHA, a HUGE hello kitty balloon her most fav & she simply have to walk around in town wearing and bringing all that. Oh yea, of cos I invited Chad to be part of the surprise too. Yayyyy success!

After the surprise, headed down to Zirca w Sherwin, Rey and Ash. Worst night ever!

Following week, I celebrated Ath's 20th w Shandy. It was nice! Herda gave us the Pizza Hut vouchers, we bought 20 gifts that Ath might like & surprised her w a sinful lava cake topped w vanilla ice cream. Thats it! So much fun! Sigh, bliss. Love my cousins so much!

The next day, I had to go down to Ngee Ann Poly to help Fizah with her school project as a model. I don't have any official pictures yet but this is all I have. I cant wait to see the rest of the pictures. That's Mark btw :)

It was a pretty hectic week for me so on the next consecutive day, I had company dinner at Republic of Yacht Club. I didn't take any pictures. Awesome place & the food was average but since its free, its delicious! HAHAHA

Finally friday night, I spent the day out w my beloved Bf. We had Javiers & catch a movie after a long time. Chronicle is awesome. I wish i had super powers too!! Fly around the world. Sighhhh wishful thinking eh Sha.

Saturday night tiu tiu tiu w SIM kids + Mad Thrills + Ash's 19th = Awesome!!

Last Friday, we celebrated Rey's 19th & went to zouk for Hardwell w the same awesome mates!

Oh btw I did my hair, and cut my fringe too. Hehe!

Had a mini advanced valentine's with Sherwin the day after. We went for steamboat. Baby surprised me w a daisy flower and a box of chocolate! Hehehe!! Thank u syg! I love u!

Well thats about it. Im actually typing in the dark room. Im too lazy to switch on the lights and to ensure there is no typos, I purposely gave a very brief summary about the huu haas! Besides, a picture can speak a 1000 words yeah?

Haha more awesome time to come <3

2012-01-28T22:30:00.002+08:00

its a stay home saturday for me today. earlier on, i had a family gathering over at my house. half of the time, i just wanna get it over and done with. damn worn out thanks to a screwed up night at zirca. im glad that the entrance was free. if i were to pay to get in, OMG..fucking waste of money. well, enough of dwelling already, i cant wait for mad thrills next week. celebrating rey's & ash's birthday as well, haha party mates! :P

on another brighter note, i will be getting my pay this coming wed (OMG!!!!!!!!) yes after so long.. i cant wait to fix my stupid hair & get new clothes! and of course, the main highlight of february: my cayang 21st birthday in conjunction w our 20monthsary!! <3

also, wish me luck for my ite application results :/ i usually avoid talking about this matter bcos i can get really nervous just sparing a thought for school :( me so excited for tuesday btw, celebrating ath's birthday w the cousins!!

last but not least, life has never been better. less drama & attention, just the way i fancy it :) cheers to a better month ahead

the dragon year!

2012-01-22T22:59:00.001+08:00

obviously, there's too much negativity going on in this space of mine but tonight, i will turn everything around! im so sick and tired of expecting good to happen! so FUCK IT~ no more paying so much attention on my stupid problems, now im gonna focus on goals and most importantly, solutions! because when i stress about my problems, i forgot about the best things i have in life such as my family, cousins, boyfriend, close friends & a damn awesome lepak job!

currently, im waiting for ite to call me up for my course interview! im very nervous the fact that its ald 22nd (ite results on the 30th) & i havent got an email or whatsoever yet UNLESS, 30th is the date to know that im shortlisted for an interview :/ idk, if i wont get any call for the interview, i will appeal again!! OMG I REALLY WANNA GO TO SCHOOL. its been a year!!

i've been busy with work these days mainly bcos i chose to, need the money for february!

(boyfriend's birthday) HEHE so damn excited for my january pay! cant wait to pay my bill & do my hair.. ALSO, i really wanna go to future music fest this 17 march @ sepang!!!! MUST GO, awesome artistes line up.. im bummed (for 2 PRIOR reasons) to use my remaining jan pay to purchase the early bird tix but its damn cheap!!!!

and as u all know, today is the eve of cny! met bf early afternoon, had mcd + ironman 2 + shopped at ntuc w vouchers haha yay! after which i accompanied him to town to meet nic before they left for their reunion dinner! working 1-10pm tmr till thursday ERGH DREAD DREAD DREAD!!

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEARS EVERYBODY!! EAT MORE ORANGE SO CAN GET MORE MONEY AHHAHAHA MY MANAGER SAY TO ME ONE K BABAI

the +ve side of me

2012-01-12T22:32:00.000+08:00

Lately, I don't have one. I'm sorry

feet don't fail me now

2012-01-09T22:06:00.004+08:00

I feel there's alot more better things for me to worry such as, school and money. ESPECIALLY SCHOOL AND MONEY. It's only been a week or two, who's counting!, and I'm already feeling so fucked up about everything. I have to be a daughter, granddaughter, ice cream scooper, student, friend and girlfriend at the same fucking time. Everyone expect so much from me. Who the fuck am I?! I must take care of each and everyone of your feelings and not even mine! Well guess what, I'm about to self destruct anytime sooner if any of you step on my fucking toes. It's fucking annoying when everyone want so much from me when they don't do the slightest shit about it at all.

Lately, I worry so much what the fuck my boyfriend do behind my back. I have to cater to his feelings at the same time I dont want to. I want him to stay but I dont want him to! I also just came back from a school & I was told that I can apply online when no!!!, I'm supposed to go to the HQ & apply for school. But wait, I already have a tight schedule ahead, how the fuck am i supposed to run this school errand? & I suppose I can't bail my manager now? I need the money too.

People expect me to relax. Yes, I want to, badly. I want to wake up the next day and couldn't careless about my worries but I can't. I CAN'T. & it's extremely sad to know that I am doing my very best but I'm still here, still not going anywhere. Stagnant!

I am getting older does not mean I am getting stronger. Mentally, yeah sure why not. I am already trying so hard to figure out the wiser things in life. I'm desperate. I'm getting out of control. I'm so fucking confused and no one is here to give two fucks about how I feel. Right now, I just wanna shut myself out from the world.

Oh wait, is anyone out there? Yeah there is, making their way towards me just to demotivate the fuck out of me.

2012-01-08T18:45:00.001+08:00

You're right, I'm selfish. You're the best thing that ever happen to me in my whole life. I think I've emphasize so many times on how much i fucking love you. Yknow i will do anything to prove you that I value this relationship more than anyone else. This is real, everything about you and me it's real. I'm crying and I really wish you were here wiping away my tears and tell me everything will be okay. Right now, I feel like this is forever and I don't want it to ever end. I hope you know there's alot I sacrifice to make our relationship work, just as much as the effort you've already put in for the past 18 months. I will never get the idea of how a perfect relationship is because I've never been in one. & if i have a choice, i will leave perfect behind just to be with you. Love is a beautiful disaster & it's okay if I'm already wounded by the mistakes we did in this relationship. I know it's all worth it.

But right now..., i'm starting to lose touch. I don't feel it. Lately things hasn't been well & I'm always the one who wanna make things right.I managed to put aside my ego for awhile & try not to screw things up. Although now I already screw things up, i'm glad we talked about that matter otherwise I won't know anything at all. You're breaking my heart, Sherwin. I don't know what to do. I'm lost. So confused & I don't know if I can do this anymore

2012-01-08T00:39:00.001+08:00

I'm sorry, I've stopped giving a fuck. Have a good day, motherfuckers.

2012-01-04T21:00:00.000+08:00

Maybe she's better. Maybe I try too hard. Maybe you don't need me. Maybe I still need you. Maybe I did my best. Maybe she don't even have to do anything at all. Maybe I need the money but maybe I just don't. Maybe I'm unfriendly. Maybe I expect too much. Maybe you hate me. Maybe the world doesn't revolve around me. Maybe I like you. Maybe I'm not cool enough for you. Maybe I'm flirting. Maybe I wasn't. Maybe I'm ugly. Maybe I just want the attention. Maybe I thought you're nice. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I miss you. Maybe I don't miss you at all. Maybe I wanna be different. Maybe that's not me at all. Maybe I'm poor. Maybe I'm rich. Not of gold but of knowledge. Maybe I'm stupid. Maybe I'm jealous. Maybe not, maybe you are the one who's fucking jealous. Maybe my dream is stolen. Maybe its yours as well. Maybe everyone want to be cool. Maybe everyone is cool. Maybe I'm immature. Maybe I do have a problem. Maybe I've seen enough. Maybe not. Maybe, there's still alot more to be seen.

Merry 18thmas'ary!

2011-12-24T23:35:00.001+08:00

Today, Sherwin & I spent our late afternoon having a rainy picnic. We celebrated xmas & our advanced anni celebration. Damn relieved it was only drizzling when I arrived. We had nuggets for appetiser (HAHA), spaghetti for main entree & pancakes for dessert. Yes, I purposely chose to have a 3 course set menu for the picnic just to invite the +ve xmas vibe which is really damn fail. After which, we took pictures here and there then bused down to Dhoby to grabbed brownies for Sherwin. Slacked around w Fairytale & headed home. Early night.

Merry Christmas! :)

2011-12-22T18:32:00.000+08:00

I spent my 18th with Sherwin. He got me the huge fruit tart cake, how sweet when i could really use just a slice. Nevertheless, it was simple & lovely (the way I fancy it). I broke my ladies night virgin last night with Sherwin & Reyro since none of our friends are able to make it for the party. Ladies night was...horrible. I tried to enjoy the music but attempt damn fail until Inquisitive started spinning which was really relieving. Not for long, a fight hyped up the atmosphere & honestly it was fucking shit I was alrd feeling uncomfortable & scared. We left Zirca right after, grabbed our last sip..was hanging out and bam! another drama started again. Zzzz after which, we went home.

Damn flattering Reyro & Sherwin promised to make it up to me for another party session since last night was suck ass -.- Looking forward to it :)

Our Batam Trip

2011-12-21T15:07:00.001+08:00

First day was awesome. We went for parasailing & ate quite alot. We had pizzas. The pizza was fine, it is not something that you can see in singapore with thick cut chili padis in it. HAHA. There is really nothing much for the highlight of the day 'cept for the water activity that we did. Oh yeah, we cycled from harris hotel to the shophouses beside waterfront terminal to get some food. & that's when we realized that we spent so much more at the hotel minimart earlier in the morning -.- Lesson to be learn: NEVER BUY ANYTHING FROM THE HOTEL MINIMART. Pizza & 30minutes of cycling was part of the package so why not! I can't say that the dinner was brilliant but it was fairly good. Shared the main dishes we ordered among ourselves and surprisingly we were full to the brim! Just hanged around in the hotel room, watch some tv & again, consume alot of fattening food which at that point of time, it doesn't really matter.

Breakfast was exceptionally fulfilling. There was waffle, fried bee hoon and alot more! Waited an hour or less then bam! we took the bus to nagoya shopping centre. The first thing we did was ESKA. It is $3 higher for the manicure there than in Singapore(not including the tax). Scrub was good too! I like their service though, they were very quick at responding my enquiries plus very friendly people. After pampering ourselves, we ate at A&W & missed the bus back to Harris which was at 2pm (Batam time). Shopped for the loved ones, there wasn't really nothing nice to get or fancy so we bought alot of food. While my cousins went to shop for themselves, I was admiring a watch that in the end I bought for Sherwin although I was already mad broke. I was glad he like it alot though. HEHE. Bought Bakso & Nasi Ayam Penyet then cabbed to the hotel for $17. We wanted to bowl at night but we let it pass so we stayed in and AGAIN WATCH SOME TV AND SLEEP. As the night gets younger, it got pretty interesting. All of us became lizard slayer. HAHAHAHAHAHA

I swear this very simple getaway with my cousins is something i need to escape myself from the busy city. I am looking forward for more outings like this w my cousins in the future!!

Okay pardon me, i'm too sleepy to continue this post.

2011-12-18T19:30:00.000+08:00

Nothing exciting happened the past few days 'cept for the short trip with my cousins which went very well, although being greeted with disappointing news from Sherwin was major upsetting if you count that as something interesting.

I was supposed to meet Tiara today but both of us bailed or maybe it's just me because I knew about this and didn't remind her of anything. Lol. Guilty!

I'm so not in the mood for anything fancy now, just wanna stone.

I will update about Batam once Syirah uploaded the pictures.

2011-12-17T18:36:00.002+08:00

Back home from the short getaway & reality...reality never taste this bitter before. :(

2011-12-13T22:59:00.000+08:00

Today, I got half of my december pay. Hello to broke January.

my interesting life

2011-12-11T23:42:00.001+08:00

It took me half a day to think of something to post in my blog & actually I am still deciding what to type about. I thought maybe if I start typing, ideas will start dashing through my mind which is really not happening right now.

I don't have a very moving life. Honestly I DONT HAVE A LIFE. Okay overreacting. I do have one but not as exciting as other girls'. BUT TONIGHT, IN THIS POST, I WILL TRY TO MAKE MY LIFE SOUNDS (or look in this case) INTERESTING.

I spent my saturday eating gelare waffles & poorly done mee bakso w my favourite girl at vivo. Did our cool handshake (HAHA), hug & kissed boyfriend before he party his night at zoukout. Fidah & I saw the eclipse, watched caucasians getting drunk & took the shorter route home by circle line. I'm already yawning reading this paragraph all over again just to slot in a few more happening sentences to make it interesting. Bleahhhhh. I slacked at home today? Oh! I fried chicken nugget & cooked rice after so long. Lol...

Moving on...you know what.. This is tough. Tomorrow onwards, I will find something at least one crazy thing to do every single day (although i'm already planning to kidnap my residential cat: gemok & super cute white cat) so my life or my future blogposts will be worth the read.

Good night, *cuddle my gemok jr*

xoxo you know you love me, gossip girls

2011-12-08T19:12:00.001+08:00

I've been spending my nights watching gossip girls and I decided to give tonight a rest. I didn't know it can be very exhausting to keep up with all the gossips and huu-haa, even in tv shows although I really fancy the characters, school uniform and how filthy rich they are.

Now I also understand why girls are crazy over Chuck Bass/Ed Westwick. Well unlike Edward Cullen & Robert Pattinson, I actually prefer both Bass & Westwick equally. I don't know which is better, Bass playing a very mean yet loving-underneath-it-all character or Westwick who is actually British! Haha! Dan & Serena's relationship, I feel like I can relate to their status problems very well (except for the part that they share the same sibling). Blair, I can't even describe her, she's really amazing in her own way. I know this paragraph seems 3 seasons ago because it is, I haven't watch GG wholefully so I figured, why not.

Before I immersed myself in Gossip Girls again, I better start talking about my life which I forever almost have. Let me see, I splurged alot online but it's all worth it knowing that I am getting half of my pay next Wednesday. This is also mainly because I asked for it. I needed the money for the big month, my month. I have such a versatile manager although it get a little bit awkward when I'm standing right beside her contemplating if I should strike a conversation first. The best I can talk about is the weather. I guess I'm just holding myself back from the line where she's MY manager & I'm just her staff, nothing more.

Other than that, I want 2011 to end gracefully. It started out very well & actually this year is not that bad afterall. It's too early to conclude so but from where I'm standing, really 2011 went quite smooth. 2012 is a new beginning and I'm already anticipating for a change, a better change of course.

Tomorrow is Friday so have a splendid weekend everybody! & for those who's going zoukout, be safe :)

2011-12-04T00:09:00.001+08:00

Sherwin gets me all the time when he talk about my birthday. I kept denying I'm not looking forward to anything this month but he always manage to make me think the otherwise!

ME SO X.SAI.3RD!!!!!

My month,

2011-12-03T11:19:00.000+08:00

November ended quite bad.. I shall not think about it anymore. Anyway, hi December.

2011-11-27T21:04:00.000+08:00

Happy 1 year & 5 monthsary <3

I miss Sherwin,

2011-11-23T20:19:00.002+08:00

I miss cuddling with him and he will play with my hair till we both fall asleep. Most of the time, he will sleep first. Doesn't matter, I still miss my boyfriend

2011-11-22T19:00:00.002+08:00

I wanted to blog about myself being excited to go to school next year and I suddenly thought about how fast time actually flies. Okay quick summary, higher nitec will probably take me for 2 years and then poly..., let just say 3 years. It's either I start work already or continue studying in university after poly (which I hope for since my dream life career needs a degree, god's willing). So in total would be aprroximately 5 to 8 years then I can start a career!

A CAREER. A CAREER. HAHA WOW.

That's really fast! REALLY, EXTREMELY FAST. May not seem like it now but when time goes by, it's actually quite scary considering if you keep track of the time (or not). It's all the same. Honestly, I'm not prepared to face the future but do I even have a choice??? I know I know, its all in the process of growing up then i can pick up such huge responsibilities for myself.

Mehhh I shouldn't think so much. Besides I'm pretty sure when I'm 26 years old or so, I will read this post in my blog again and say something like "Hah! Afraid? Look where am I now, still watching Sabrina The Teenage Witch like a bummer (wait for it, there's a twist) with my husband and son in my bed! Pish, what the hell was I thinking? Afraid!? Look at me now, I'm getting paper!" (hwhuattttt?! insert confused face here)

I'm hoping I will say something similar. That's one of the nicest twist of my story & if any other twists, turns or breaks (like the heartbreaking tragic ones) happen to me when I'm 26, now that's something to be afraid of.

I can't wait.

2011-11-22T01:16:00.000+08:00

2011-11-19T01:06:00.001+08:00

I just want to talk to you.

2011-11-16T20:50:00.002+08:00

I've always blamed the people I hang out with is the cause of my far distance with God. I always have unsolved questions about my own belief. I feel the need to understand my religion fully before I be faithful in it. Sometimes, I feel like I shouldn't ask these sorts of questions. I know if I doubt my religion, it's a heavy sin. But I just wanted to know. Then now, when I think back of all the questions I asked and the assumptions of the people I hang out with, I realize I'm just afraid to admit that I've been so far astray from my own religion because of my own actions. It has nothing to do with my surrounding or the environment that I'm in.

I don't grow up from a very strong religious-minded family but they try to be & that's what make me feel like I should forget about being the smart-alex here trying to ask stupid questions. I can gain knowledge about Islam only when I'm in it but that's not the point. & sometimes I cry at night and wonder what happened to the old me? The daughter my parents expected me to be? The promises I kept with my late Mak Long? :( I can't recall the last time I seek forgiveness from Allah, and now if I do, I will feel so shameful, so guilty, I feel like I don't deserve to be forgiven.. The sins I make.. I can't even. But I'm just human, I'm prone to make mistakes so please forgive me if I do.. :'(

Bottom line is, I want to find the old me. I want to be closer to Him again. I want to believe, again. Insya'Allah.

2011-11-12T13:54:00.002+08:00

I feel like even though we are in a relationship for only a year plus, it's as though we've known each other for our whole entire life. I never thought that I will fall for you this deep. I always say you deserve better because maybe, I'm still so ashamed of my history. I know we frequently fight over the littlest thing and I'm always making you so upset and angry. We're always on the edge of breaking up but you're always, ALWAYS, reminding me not to let an argument control our relationship. You've been so patient and understanding and I feel like I've never do my part as a better girlfriend. I'm so sorry if I have ever been a total jerk towards you this past year. & even though i'm only your first girlfriend, you've taught me so much that love is more than saying i love you, more than hugs and kisses, more than spending good time together, love is also about sacrificing, giving, taking and accepting too.. We know that I've stopped being the sweet girl i ever was, like writing to you sweet letters or give nice surprises. I guess I just forgot to appreciate you better but nothing have changed. I still love you so dearly from the first time you hold me :") You still take my breath away. You still make my heart beat faster and I never want all that to ever end.. And if we ever get separated, I will always remember the amazing time we have with each other be it the good or bad because you are really worth my memories... <3

When darkness turns to light,

2011-11-10T17:35:00.007+08:00

it ends tonight.

Supposedly

2011-11-09T18:27:00.005+08:00

Home at this hour when i'm supposed to go for my job interview with Marbleslab. I'm also supposed to work 12 to 4 today but i ended at 2. Like a boss. Ate lunch on the dining table with my parents. We talked, abit.

Anyways, cousins came afterward and hanged out in my room.. Helped Iffa to make her resume and find a job. Managed to get a reply from one company.. So tmr i'm following her to MaryMount at 10 in the morning just for her interview.. Oh my! Im like the best cousin ever (Haha), considering i should be sleeping at that time.

I too supposed to be working this week at Halia but they didn't call me up.. I supposed to have money this week but im broke!

And most importantly, I'm supposed to be healthy today but apparently..., i'm falling sick.. :(

Here's a picture to light up my day and supposedly yours too

Gemok Jr!! My friendly teddy bear! Hehehe bye.

2011-11-08T22:32:00.001+08:00

I have so many things to do, but so little time and money.... Life is unfair

Pick me up for a date

2011-11-07T20:48:00.005+08:00

Expectation:

-Dress for the kill, even if it meant wearing uncomfortable clothes.

-Cash-less because my boyfriend will pay for everything.

-Late cos I am a girl and early cos you're the gentleman.

-Chocolate & fresh dozen of roses for a surprise.

-Bring me to the finest restaurant you can ever find.

-Eat like you are REALLY well-mannered (This is to the guys out there).

-Eat 1/4 of the food because I'm just so looking after my moderate diet when actually I havent had my first meal the whole day.

-Movie.

-Cab home.

-Passionate kisses & hugs.

-Going to sleep w a wide smile plastered across the face.

Reality:

-Dress for the kill, except I'm comfortable in my own outfit.

-Cash in our pocket. (Bcos I really can pay by my own)

-Both are late, what's new.

-Quick hug and small pecks for a surprise.

-Mcdonald will do us fine.

-Eat like a boss.

-Movie.

-Long bus ride home.

-Again, quick hug and small pecks.

-Still, sleep w a wide smile plastered across the face.

2011-11-05T15:47:00.003+08:00

I couldn't help but to notice that some people are very fucked up in the mind. Coming from me, a teenage girl, who experienced the first hand fuckers in this world, I believe everyone meet this douchebags along the way in their life.

This idiots think they are some big shot that can boss people around. Well guess what freak, nothing will go your way like you always want to. Handsome & rich but in your mind is all about sex. Why not buy a prostitute along the road with that money, you sex maniac? It's funny how a sensitive guy like you dare to ask me for the most repulsive favor, considering im your friend & worse, already know that I have a boyfriend.

Yes its a modern world but only dickheads like you have to keep up with the disgusting trend. & you expect yourself to have a girl by your side with that kind of attitude?? Spit on yourself, dude. Whatever happened to gentlemen or the true meaning of friends, seriously?

here i am, once again

2011-11-04T22:59:00.002+08:00

I want to have my time alone but I don't know where to start. I don't know how and who to spend my time with when I've been doing so for a year+ with you now.. I'm afraid, along the way, you'll find a nicer girl. I'm afraid your feelings for me might change. I'm afraid of losing you.. But at the same time, I want you to bump into someone nice. I want you to enjoy your life like how you should. I want to stop being your burden.

I feel so sad...I'll probably just cry now.

2011-11-03T22:43:00.000+08:00

Today i just feel like blogging about......... how much i appreciate my bestfriend's existence. Sorry I've been neglecting you & I can assure you no other girlfriend can mean so much to me other than you yourself (Saba doesnt count). You rock girl, i love you! <3

HI

2011-11-02T19:19:00.001+08:00

I'M NOT DEAD!!!!!!

I'm pretty much... BACK?!?!

2011-06-22T22:33:00.004+08:00

It's been months! Hello 2011! I mean, hello july 2011?! Its about 1/2 a year already!! Wahahaha wow okay okay cannot maintain, too excited already! *blow and wipe away spider cobwebs and ancient dust, oops yeap I found some fossils* "Err?" Ah yeah okay... Moving on. This post, i shall warn first, will probably be quite lengthy (understatement). Hahaha I lost my blog vibe. Like you know in twitter, you have hashtags. Own social network, own language! I'm not too sure about facebook? Maybe talking to ourselves at somebody's wall? Oh my god! Sad song in radio right now. Its that dude who's wife is handicapped and yeah he made a song for her. So sweet I wish I was handicap too HAHA okay that was a total big joke. *slap myself* I'm sidetracking!

Basically, I'm very active at twitter. Follow me! @sheyraonthemove. My Facebook is kinda dead....? I mean yeah can find me there too if you guys really want to. Half a year gone, let's see what you've missed....... Nothing much. I quitted my Fred perry job. I got into a fnb line few months after that! Speaking of which, I got my o level results too and I didn't fare well ZZZZ haha back on this later. So anyways... Yeah guess where I worked at? Gelare! As a full timer some more okay!! THIS PLCE IS WHERE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE SERVED AND NOT SERVING AT OH MY GOD. I must admit okay the waffles are a hit!!! Must eat! They have the best waffles in town seriously! And of course, the worse service you'll ever get from HAHAHA. I am now happily working at a shopping mall 5mins walk away from my house. Hahahahahaha you should have know this earlier, I am still in fnb line but only as a part timer! I so wanted to continue my retail line badly but I'm already committed to a job which I think is very convenient for me. I am trying to earn extra cash too by doin something. Hopefully, I get accepted! Then I can share with you guys about it. It's just money call, nothing else. Although alot of benefits I can get from there!

I also didn't apply to any school this year cos I'm so stupid like that LOL no don't underestimate me! I just couldn't decide which to choose at that point of time. Alot of paths ahead of me!! So I decided to just take the long route for my education cos I assume there's really no point rushing when dude, my FP mate is still studying at the age of 30! (I was so wrong... About the rushing part. More of that later) OKAYS my secondary school mates are already pursuing their studies which they are eligible to! I guess it's safe to say I'm the only one from my school who work for a year and study the next! I don't know what's worse, my English teacher proving me right that once you taste money, you don't wanna stop OR me loving the money that I earned(Guilty!). Hey hey there there now chill your tits I'm not a gold digger or anything related HAHA but I AM A HUGE MONEY MINDED BITCH which explains why I'm quite impatient to start school so I can start my intern (nope, nothing related to the course I take in ITE) and begin my successful career in time to come. (26 years old the most). I'm so glad I have my future planned. At least now I have a goal to reach and making it come true!

For now I'm workin right, gotta make full use of it to get my essentials so at least I'm prepared for next year and so on! Ah!!! Alot of things happened this year! Can't even cover everything! I don't know why but this event is already playing in my head now, I ATE A CRICKET.., apparently on my fingers. HAHAHA YES YOU GUYSSSS I ATE A CRICKET DURING CHINGAY. YEAAPPP I hate creepy crawling insects but I ate one! Lol like cool or not? No? Hmm okay.. Chingay is exceptionally boring. Let me make that right, my work at chingay was freaking boring! My job was to escort MPs to a few booths before they take their seats to watch the parade. The parade was fun hehe. And yeah, Fidah and I worked for 2days there right. First day we got paid for nothing! Really really! The MPs, our MPs weren't there. Haha! So we got paid to have fun walking around, watching parade! Second was fine, we escorted one MP each. HAAHHA pathetic I know right..

Just so happen the chingay fall on the day before valentines! Sherwin got me a rose HAHA the best part is I FIDGETED AROUND like some stupid girl and the rose hit my body I think, ALL OF THE PETALS DROPPED OFF. I only had a good 30mins w the rose. Sigh! Speaking of that fatty, this coming monday is our one year together!! So we are spending it by going to uss this coming weekend! I can't wait!!!!! Thrilling roller coasters!! Wee!

Okay okay too wordy already. I will surely write more about the highlights that happened from Jan to June 2011! Till next time haterss love you all bye

You and Me

2010-12-17T23:49:00.002+08:00

Here, i would like to talk about my boyfriend. Probably this is the only place where i can pour my heart and thoughts about him. I mean who else would read this dusty blog besides him, who actually still bother to check it once in awhile if i still update.

Frankly speaking, i have been so free this past few days, too free to be precise that i read back Sherwin's past messages. From the first time we knew each other till present. At times, i caught myself smiling, laughing and even crying to the messages.

I love you babe, so much. Even words cant express this feelings. Yes, my love for you its beyond words. I swear, I never had this feeling with anyone except for you. Not even haziq. What you did for me, no one will ever ever do that to me. Your patience, your tolerance for my attitude is overwhelming. Believe me.

You stand by me through the good and bad times without fail. We laughed at jokes only we know. We had our epic and glamour moments (Oh my god, remember what i did in my kitchen? HAHA). We went through the time where we despised each other so much but the only one person who can heal us is, one another. We will listen to each others' rant about life. We will go the extra mile to see each other even if it's only for a few hours. I will get angry/cranky with you bcos you'll wake me up from my cat nap or i was too hungry, you'll still sayang sayang me hehehe so cute. We got into silly small fights but still worked it out in the end. You wiped off my tears and sweat, mucus sometimes. Gosh, it's disgusting but fuck babe (sorry i had to go vulgar on this one), bacteria righttttt. Lol k no, you're the sweetest okay sayang you really are.

I couldn't thank you any more, I couldn't even forgive myself for all the shits I've done to you. Therefore, I am truly deeply sorry for all the difficult hassles i put you through. The heartbreaks which you have to deal with it alone. I'm very sorry you had to pick up the pieces all by yourself. I really never meant to..

Words are cheap yes but I hope my changed character this past month had help you to pick up the remaining pieces even for a little bit. I will never stop blooming. I will never stop trying. Though you kept telling me I'm perfect the way i am, I will still think I'm never enough for you. Trust me baby, i'll do anything for you to heal back all the heartbreaks i caused.

No doubt, i won't let you go no matter the distance apart so please, do me a lil favour, no insecure_boi91 alright? Lack of attention, restricted time together and short phone calls WHO GIVE A FUCK? (Me. LOL JOKE) That doesn't mean we're falling out of love from each other. Yes babe, i am more than willing to wait for you. For real. So now, go serve the country! *victory song like in Skyline movie* HAHAHA.

People are clueless what kind of situations we've been through, they have no idea but they don't have to know baby. Call us crazy, madly in love with each other or even... siao tingtong idk but seriously, I DONT CARE. Who are they to judge? Because as long as I'm with you, nothing will go wrong. All we need is each other.

You're all i have babe. I swear i really love you. I really do.

2010-11-05T15:32:00.001+08:00

It's been awhile since i use this laptop omg! *WORSHIPS* K merepek. Hi. I'm so excited i don't know where to start! ERRRRRR. Wait, in a jiggy you guys. Let me decide which part of my life i should start rambling about first. Chey, macam faham. HAHAHA -.-

Okay yknow what, i decided to save this post for my one and only Gendut :) He's been bugging me since last time that i didn't write any blog post for him when i promised to. Take it easy fat kid, you want your food you need to have patience. HAHA for the god-knows-how-many-times-i-told-him, i can only update if i use the laptop. So tada! Before i forget and hear him ranting again, this post is specially dedicated for you.

Gendut, he's amazing. So far, i'm pretty sure he's the first strong guy i've ever met in my sixteen years of life. Well, not physically but mentally. I must admit i have been abusing him emotionally for the past four months. It was rather confusing to be in a state where you wanna be an introvert or extrovert. In this case, i was an introvert. Well, actually it was in between but more of the introvert.

He, Sherwin Gemok Teo, taught me to think of other people's feeling. Of course, he doesn't mind if it's just a little bit as long as i spare a thought of others. Yeah, you get the idea. But.. it's not about what he changed me into(a better person). He can accept me for who i was before and can still love me dearly while he can. Not many guys can. For all the mistakes i've done to him, to myself, i could never forgive myself but he did. :')

I'm not trying to address that he's all angel here. He did mistakes too but he realised and learnt from it. And, i am pretty glad that what i wanted last time, i finally got it now; a two-sided relationship. I learn alot about him, me and especially how a relationship work. It's not easy, yes but things will go smoothly if both of you want to be in this :)

I'm not saying this just to please him or such, really la Gendut, this is how i feel from the bottom of my heart. I'm so thankful you gave me the second chance, which it's already been expected, to show you that i want this as much as you do. Cross my heart, legs, hands, hair, that you are the most annoying guy ever HAHA k no la, despite it all, you're still my hero la okay?! Superman with beer belly HAHAHAHA.

I love you, inside out, left to right, sideways, head to toe, one-way, U-turn, everything Sherwin Ashley <3

2010-10-06T11:43:00.003+08:00

Few months ago, in fact years, i always thought that there's a reason why we kept on playing or getting into this on/off relationship. Kept letting you to come around even though you were telling me white lies. Even though everyone knew you don't deserve that second chance. But i just can't figure out what the reason was.

Who could possibly thought that you were telling me the truth when you promised you won't talk to me anymore. Heart-wrenching. I never see that coming at all. The fact that i found out by myself, that people asked me things i don't know. Embarrassed, babe. Just for making a mistake that you did all the time, i watched everything fall apart.

I was confused. I reminded myself that it's just not the time yet and that you'll come back. But you didn't. I told myself to be patient with you all the time. Guess what, everything turn their back on me. Like, the more i try, the more impossible it gets. At times, i blamed myself for giving up just like that. And even at times, i blamed you for being an unreasonable asshole :)

Then i started to reminisce all the times i used to had with you. We smiled, we laughed, we joked, we argued, we bit, we hugged, we kissed.. And how i hold you when you're at the lowest point of your life and brought you up even if it hurts me. And that you tried your best to learn to trust your own limits knowing that i'm at the back of your mind whenever you wanna do something stupid or that will hurt my feelings. I must admit, i kept your feet on the ground before things changed.

You were troubled when you were alone. Always ranting to me what the problems was and telling me that you were having sleepless nights. You urged to change yourself for her. Yknow babe, when I'm upset over stuffs you did to me, I never asked you to change. Never. I didn't want you to become somebody you're not and being uncomfortable under your own skin though it will bring good for the both of us, for me especially. You surprised me how this lucky lady can make you changed your mind with just a snap. When me, i got so tired snapping or even clapping, I decided to let faith run my life.

And then i started to see the reasons very clearly and bring myself to the conclusion. Those on/off games are meant for me to taught you how to keep your feet on the ground by yourself. People call times like this as a karma but i believe this is just another golden opportunity for you to look beyond the box and understand a girl's feelings and of course, appreciate it. I'm glad you changed. Not for her, but for the better. I'm glad you can make wise decisions now. I'm glad you can love her as dearly though i wanted that to happen only just to me. Haha.

Foolish of me to work something that is not even there anymore. Selfish of me to make up things that's impossible to happen. But it's okay, everything happened for a reason. I never regretted going through, say, the most grueling time of my life when i was with you. You made me into someone who is much more firm to stand on my own ground.

If just so happen you read this post, yeah it's for you. I am not expecting you to say a thank you or sorry or anything related. I just wanted to let you know its hurts me like a bitch but slowly i actually did pick up all the remaining pieces all by myself. It's a lie if i say that i'll be happy if you're happy. Haha i'm just voicing everything out since i believed it's the most appropriate time to tell you how i feel now since i'm no longer expecting something to happen between the both of us. I loved you before and yes i was happy but it's not gonna happen again.

Even if we meet again, which i highly doubt so and really don't want that to happen, i will not let myself to have the mutual feelings anymore.You live your life, and i live mine. Strangers you called it. Anything for me, yes? I hope you understand like how i've always been towards you. Because, I am contented having the most understanding boyfriend right now and having the life i've always longed to be in :)

bye july, hello august

2010-08-01T10:23:00.002+08:00

Hectic and surprisingly I'm enjoying every bit of it. I'm content :) Well, what's life if there isn't any ups and downs.

To start things off first, I'm sure mom will be utterly disappointed with my academics results for term 3. I passed merely a subject and that is malay. Awesome kan? K no, the best part is her birthday is on the 5th and I have a parents teachers meeting session on the 4th and of cos she's coming down to meet them. Kire kan ni advanced birthday gift ah? (Y) Its okay mommy, on the 6th insyallah if I get my pay already, I'll treat you good food k before fasting month starts. If not, kirimsalam sua HA HA HA k joking, my mom deserves the best hor.

Talking about fasting month, it falls right after national day. Hue hue I'm pretty excited for this time to come. Breaking fast with the whole family sitting on the dining table, eating good food. And when it's coming to an end, the family will be very busy preparing for raya. Yay best, I just love the atmosphere though I must admit, raya during the few years back was much much more enjoyable than now. Another reason why I'm looking forward is because this month will prolly make me stop having doubts on my own religion. Insyallah. Amin!

On another note, I have been heading down to tully's almost every night to study. Lets just hope I'll stay consistent like this till the end of o's eh? I'm getting back my malay's result this month and I won't be surprised if I have to pay another 30$ to look at my malay teacher's face for a few more months. Hmm... I will be having o's english oral this 24th. Wah! Stress habes. A lot is going on in my mind.

Work. Sigh, sad sad sad :( Stephen told me KM is leaving on the 15th already :( You know how saddening is this anot. And the fact that I will be having a 2 months study break, I won't get to see bryan and stephen as often anymore. :( :( :( And if stephen were to read this, he will just smack my head from the back. Because its not that bad or sad afterall. Its only me, overreacting. But walao, really devastating sial :(

ON A BRIGHTER NOTE, I must say I have been spending my July mostly with my beloved boyfriend he he. Get to know my friends, get to know his friends. Lovely bunch of people, saye suke sekali! Caught a number of new movies, took neoprint, stay up till the wee hours, awesome late night calls, gossips, unexpected surprises, laughter, joy, EVERYTHING! Well of course at times we're up in each others asses but we'll make it through somehow by working the what's wrong. I love sherwin to the fullest :)

2010-07-22T15:21:00.002+08:00

I'M SO PISSED RIGHT NOW I MIGHT GO DOWN TO YOUR HOOD DRAG YOUR FAT ASS DOWN FROM YOUR HOUSE TO IN FRONT OF HIM. I WILL TIE YOU UP ON A TREE TIGHTLY AND I SWEAR I WILL FREAKING LIGHT UP MY LIGHTER AND BURN YOUR EFFING HAIR LET YOUR SCALP BURN IN RED AND WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOUR HEAD I AM SO GONNA STRIP YOUR CLOTHES OFF BURNT YOUR FUCKING TITS AND PUSSY AND FUCKING BURN YOUR PUBIC HAIR AFTER THAT I WILL TAKE A LONG BIG CUCUMBER AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR PUSSY AND YOUR CORNHOLE . FUCK THAT, I AM GOING TO RUB IT AGAINST YOUR BURNT SKIN! THEN I WILL PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN SLOWLY AND LET YOU AND YOUR BELOVED HIM WATCH ME WEARING IT.

OH YES YOU HEARD ME WELL BITCH I FREAKING HATE YOU TO THE ULTIMATE MAXIMUM. FUCK YOU ALREADY ALRIGHT

Like yes.

2010-07-18T21:55:00.002+08:00

EVERYDAY I SEE MY DREAM

meow

2010-07-01T18:38:00.000+08:00

Fina and I were just talking about when was the last time we update our blog and all in school just now. Yes, i have no idea why i will always feel the urge to blog after talking about it. Haha -.-

I have no idea where to start. It's been a month and i must say June has been a ride for me. Alot of things happened, like the bad ones. Okay.. most. Well, what can i say, good things always come to an end. I had so much fun knowing him inside out though yes, going through all the obstacles with him was the hardest but hey, it's the sincere thought that counts. He made me into someone stronger and along the way, i hope it's still gonna be me whom he's gonna look up to, like he always did the past few months, years. Always here for you, Andhika. No matter what. Sampai mati k? :) And no babe, no i never regret knowing you, loving you.

Yknow what, surprisingly, i'm keeping up with all these very well. I can't recall what i did during the holidays except for planning never-gonna-happen plans such as going to JB w Fidah, Saba and Hazwan since all of use were broke! :( Say, last Sentosa outing with the schoolmates before O's starts and yes you've guessed it right, it didn't happen at all either. BUT, i totally enjoyed myself at Azzura Beach Party on the eleventh despite the fact that i got hit IN MY FACE and have a BIG LUMP RIGHT BESIDE MY LEFT EYE -.- Not to forget, the hideous blue-black. Like cb.

Oh! I had fun at Camp Pong! too with my Fred Perry colleagues. Yah okay, Zaus and i lose in the first game. I mean like seriously, who would win a ping pong game without any practice or knowing the rules of the game beforehand?? LOL but it was nice nice nice, drink all night and daring ourselves by eating a mouthful of sushi PLUS wasabi!! GILER BABI!!! Awesome :D

I still cannot believe the fact that my status is totally changed after like what, 5 years of being single? Baby, you totally break my virgin of being a single bitch la! HAHA, there's still alot more for us to know and learn about each other k! And just so you know, if you're reading this, i just put down the phone with you and you were telling me that it's okay to retake BMT so you can be fitter. For me. Konek kan? -.- HAHAHA blow smoke to your face then you know, k bye heart you like fuck. Xoxo, your sayang :)

:)

2010-06-05T16:38:00.003+08:00

So maybe i thought to spare a little time to update my blog.. And currently i'm at work! Time check it's 4.40pm. I really thought today is gonna be a long day but NOOOOO! Hehe. Woot woot, in two hours time i'm meeting fidah & lufee to get the kebab @ 313 while accompanying me for break. Serious, lufee semangat giler-.-

Talking of work, one month from now KM's gonna stop working :( He even got his resignation letter prepared? Wtf. And just the thought of another fulltimer from the other boutique coming over to taka, whew i bet we won't be flexible as before. Hence, i'm considering on requesting to work in one of the boutique. Hmm, see how.

School's good. Yeah that's because i hasn't been attending my remedial during my holidays -.- I suck. To add that up, it's been a rocky journey between me and him. I don't know... Despite all the shits that are happening now, deep down i'm still hanging on to something. Pffft sigh shut up sheyra, suck it up :(

On a brighter note, i'm getting my pay soon. I'm going to a beach party on a friday night. I might be going to JB w my kaki gereks. Whoop whoop! :D

2010-05-22T12:52:00.000+08:00

"I hate the way you talk to me and the way you play with your hair. I hate the way you brag so much about having a bright future which make me start to see you growing up as a young man with a lot of wise plans. I hate it when you stare. I hate your white shirt that I’m holding on to and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick. It even makes me rhyme. I hate it… I hate the way you’re always trying to be right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh; Even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you’re not around. And the fact that you didn’t call or text. But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you; not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all. "

Kitten tkmu step cute.

2010-04-29T18:50:00.001+08:00

Hi cute! I didn't attend school today. Thanks to my runny nose and my sore throat but seriously i don't take those reasons as a valid one for not coming to school. I didn't go bcos mom told me not to and me always taking the opportunity to not come to school, agreed to her when i had a choice. Ohwells. As expected, i didn't do anything productive today. I used the laptop. When i woke up, it was already afternoon so i had my shower and use the laptop till now. Told myself to eat but ye lah, penting kan technology kan and now i'm starving-.-

Yesterday, baby told me he wanted to cry because of his next month's duty. It's just so ridiculous la, mane boleh every weekend ade duty babe? You pancung siket kepale sergeant you, hahaha. Mambang sedih, cannot meet as frequent :( Lagi sedih, semalam aku perangai last warning. Get jealous bcos of a wrongly sent text msg. Jealous maha jealous pulak tu, eee malu! K tak ah, jealous makne nye i syg. Hehe. Rindu you, meet me this sunday and we'll shower each other with xoxo k!

Haha meow.

Everyday i love school more and more.

2010-04-27T18:13:00.002+08:00

During CE lesson, Mrs Chong told us to plan our time table for june holidays. And me, being a good student, plan on it very carefully( and roughtly) till she saw 'WORK' under Friday, Saturday and Sunday..

Mrs Chong: You know, if you study now, your pay is much much better in the future. You can get a rich boyfriend and a stable job. That is what you want.
Me: I heard that alot of time. Yes i know, but we're talking about RIGHT NOW.
Mrs Chong: Good if you heard about it alot of times but make sure you take it to the heart. I'm not nagging but the best thing to do now is to give it all out in your studies.
Me: I am. I am not bragging here either, but you should have compare the attendance i had early this year and NOW. I'm much more settled down and i am keeping up.
Mrs Chong: That's an improvement. Shahira, you're very a bright girl. I'm sure you know how to prioritise which is which. Put first things first.
Me: I NEVER prioritise work. I am keeping it balance.
Mrs Chong: If it's balanced, then why is your studies not consistent? You obviously prioritise work.
Me: At least i'm trying to help myself, come to school and study. -.-

Yes i must admit, i'm actually starting to like school again (I don't remember the last time i liked it but i know i did) Okay except for the above mentioned part. I abhor when my teachers talk about work to me. ERGH!! So by the way, I'm not sure if it's the clique or the lessons are getting better and better these days that made me like school. It's like i'm on the ball to do my work. Hmm yea, O level is months away that explain the rush in studies. Ni aku suke (Y)

BUT, i'm sure i gonna have a real hard kickass time next week onwards because..... FOCUS is gonna start doh!!!! OH MY GOD. Go home at 4.30pm everyday!!!! BOLEH JADI GILER AKU. And the worse part is i'm having my O level malay paper less than 25days and that malay focus are on every FRIDAYS. Eh bagus! How am i suppose to go to work????? Confirm hen lei babi :(

So on a much brighter note, i can't wait to get my pay for this month. I have alot in mind to do and buy. I'm still considering my smiley and tongue piercing. Haziq disagree with it cos he think it's not nice. Padahal he used to have a smiley piercing himself -.- Bagi penampar nabi kang! But the thought of the aftercare for tongue piercing, wheeeew good luck sia lazy to go through it again.. Tak tau ah stress!

Anyways, i just find it funny and cute some sort that Haziq has a twitter. HAHA! It's just so wrong la for you to have one babe. And the fact he has a rabak formspring too. Ish! Banyak drama macam sinetron. He made me feel like having one? Buat ah, ape lagi.

HAHAHAHAHA BYE.

April

2010-04-20T14:18:00.000+08:00

This is my 260th blog post.

Just the thought of its 200410, one month of not updating my blog. Wow. Time flies really fast. Hate the fact my Malay Paper 1 & 2 is around the corner already. And i still owe Cikgu 3 surat kiriman, 3 karangan dan 2 Kefahaman and counting if i don't finish it all up by this week. Fuck my life.

Rewind & Reflected

2010-03-20T13:58:00.004+08:00

Waking up early in the morning and found out that your bothers are peacefully sleeping so in your mind you was like, "Hey why not use the laptop now before they wakes up? I mean this is your only free time." You switched on the laptop and started blogging. After you're satisfied with your LONG MEANINGFUL post, you wanna publish it. LIKE DUH. Just so happen i must logged in back, i did. And it says, "Sorry can't complete your task(whatever you call it!!!). Please try again later." In your mind, "Wogay what the fuck happened now?"

You go to your posts and saw the recent one as Drafted. PHEW!, you thought. So you opened that post and, it's empty. Yes, empty. No pictures, words, alphabets whatever its just a blank box.

First strike to spoil my saturday :)

Yes lovelies, i'm going to crack my brain again to reblog-.-

Hate the fact that it's raining on a saturday. So wet, so gloomy. Nice weather to set me in, that's the worse since i know i won't be going out cos i'll sleep. Just hope it won't rain later tonight since i'm going out with Baby. Midnight picnic, hehehe. Sungguh i tak boleh sabar! I ditched work last minute today, yes. Woke up at 10, time aku bukak kedai. Bagus (Y) Ape lagi, aku temberang ah ngn manager. HAHAHA babi. Ala, give me a break ah. Waking up early in the morning almost everyday(Mind you, its school holidays so just imagine everyone's sleeping till late afternoon and you, working) Perfect. And i only have a one day off and that is i don't even spend it wisely. FML! Ikot cakap hati, nak quit aja but on second thought, i need the money. Ohwells.

So yeah, as i was saying on my previous blog post that is DRAFTED(hate you for this,blogger) that i tweeted i did some self reflection whats been happening the past days, weeks or months, and gonna post about it in my blog few days ago? I can't recalled. Yeah here it is..

You know, i actually sat down and thought to myself for quite a long time. I never really like doing this kind of therapy or stuffs, easy say. I will have the tendency to cry when i think of all the sad or happy memories i had last time. By right, i should be strong enough to let it go and to spot out the mistakes i did last time and learned from it maturely. And for the first time of my life, okay to be specific. For the first time of my deep thoughtful moments, i didn't cry. I know, sheyra the cengeng girl tak nangis? Biar betol. I'm just upset that i chose the life i want to live in but i'm not commiting to it. I wanna work, so badly and when school started, i refused to quit but to continue. Yeah, i didn't realise that it actually already affecting my studies. I'm not blaming work, no. Promised myself to balance my time between work and studies but i'm not keeping up. Just look at me, tak terurus. Homework since Day 1 till now is piling up like a big mountain. Time wasn't well spent with my love ones. Especially Mom. I miss her so much :( Plus, my girls too. SIGH. Got myself a Beta form for truancy -.- Being rebellious to teachers. And the best part is, i don't even have time for myself. What the hell right, i know. I'm not committing to anything since i'm starting to hate work too.

Sucks. March Hols is burned. Everyone having their last fun outside before school starts and me, working my ass off. SEDIH PE :( I envied those who have too many free times that they don't even know how to make full use of it, instead doing something not productive. I need that precious time desperately sio. Maybe i just let my life be. Come what may. I'm not there yet to make the right move since i have nothing in mind too -.-

LIGHT UP MY DAY PLEASE CUTIE :(

080310

2010-03-08T22:17:00.000+08:00

4 months, not easy.
Serious baby, i nak ade power to teleport.

2010-02-22T13:59:00.000+08:00

Not a good Monday to start with. Haziq is back in camp. We didn't manage to meet up w each other yesterday, sedih giler. It's gonna be a long week :( Ala, rindu kau la.. Friday is taking forever to reach tauuuuuu.

Ugh bye i'm getting ready for work at 4. Can my monday be more saddening? :(

150210onwards

2010-02-20T10:38:00.000+08:00

1) There's so much to update that i don't even know where to start.
2) So I'm just gonna cut it short.
3) My CNY/Long break was great.
4) Time was well-spent with Haziq throughout the weekend. Ni aku suke.
5) If only nights like that last forever eh baby?
6) Catched Percy Jackson w Haziq too. Ni pon best. Good show, a must to catch.
7) Have a heart-heart talk w Haziq too. Ni okay ah, ade siket annoying ngn tu budak.
8) But you know, deep down aku masih syg kau k. Hehe!
9) Sentosa w classmates was fine.
10) Perfect spot: Surrounded by Bangla.
11) The sun was... Wow no comment.
12) Okay maybe i do have a comment. WTF IT WAS BLAZING HOT I CAN LITERALLY FEEL MY SKIN BURNING!
13) Celebrated Idah's belated birthday. Like maha belated.
14) Fina got bullied, always. Nothing new.
15) Dinner w Saba & Indra at Harbourfront.
16) Ugh, just so unhygienic please the place??????
17) School. Is getting better and better(Well, this i hope.)
18) Actually i am getting a hang on it. You know, balancing time w work and school.
19) I went to work yesterday. And the feeling just whew! I don't know. It's just this feeling like i've made it. Like it's a victory. Like 'Finally! I'm working!' -.-
20) I've worked on my march schedule v carefully.
21) Work in few hours time but meeting Shaf before that to pass her things..
22) Upcoming week is hell, lots of tests.
23) In fact, upcoming weeks/months is hell.
24) Woah, take care @sheyraonthemove

Success

2010-02-12T14:21:00.000+08:00

One whole week i attend school. Fuuh complete! I didn't skipped school. Okay yes, i was late twice but that is I reached school before the first lesson starts. I attended my detention on that day itselves too. No more being chased around. So good right i know :] TEEHEE. Stepping stone la eh. Tadi da kene puji dgn Mrs Lim, aku tkmu pijak kepale dia sudah la eh.. So my friends, proud of me anot? LOL!

So on a brighter note, ended school quite early today since we had CNY celebration. CNY celebration was a so-so. The same throughtout the years, BORING? Joshua & Kamen came back to school and omg Kamen's body is like woah? *melts* So build up, kalah badan Baby. K tak ah bedek, die nye takleh challenge. Hehe *wink* Plus, i'm ending work early tmr at 5 yay! Then i will be having 3-4days holiday. Ya Allah, only You knows how happy am i la kan! Amin amin.

K the best part of all, meeting Haziq today. Hehehe ^^ Perangai mentel datang balek. Texted him but he didn't reply, i wonder what time he went home jz now morning? Hmm. Text i la babi, rindu u.

Is It You?

2010-02-11T23:25:00.000+08:00

Initial plan was to spend time w Haziq today but last minute cancel since he's meeting his friends and i overslept -.- So much for waiting for Thursday to come eh babe, ish.. It's okay, tmr i can still meet him and that is after work. Yes, work, on a friday. Not to mention, saturday. Morning shift lagi!! Stress, hate thinking about my f-ed up february schedule.. Ye la, orang kat luar tgh enjoy2, aku kat kerje layan customer. Tu pon kalau ade. Ugh.

BYE AH SAKIT HATI BUAL PASAL KERJE NANTI ADE ORANG KATE AKU TEMPER LOOOOL DIAM BYE

Biarkan Aku Jatuh Cinta

2010-02-03T20:37:00.000+08:00

I'm so in love with this picture, i have no idea why. I was just telling Bestfriend that i miss my old messy hair :( Yup, though yes i admit it needs a little bit of touch up. HAHAHA. I went to school today.. *krik krik* If not because of last night phonecall, i won't go okay today. Sounds like it's already my last warning :(

Had PE just now. Shiok gtu kan the feeling after jogging, since like forever? The last time i had my run was like what, last year? Ok ah, napfa last year. How, now? Played tchoukball. I can't stop laughing w the way Raimi throw the ball. Sumpah kalau aku die, aku malu seh! Campak bola kat angin? Ishk.

Served my detention today w fina & ain. Finally i'm free from 'Alicia Keys' coming around during recess time to ask for my phone. I cannot believe she actually find Saba just to ask about me. Ergh annoying. -.- So we were practically, k no, especially me, was getting all excited for st12 concert in april through out the detention. I know right!!!!!! HEHEHEHEHE, excited nye :P

K ah bye, nak feeling-feeling lagu ST12.

Rasa ini tulus padamu, takkan berhenti, sampai nanti ku mati...

FIX YOURSELF.

2010-02-02T19:02:00.001+08:00

Ely made my day w this video and his ultra lame jokes? Hahaha! I WANT ALL OF THEM FOR VALENTINES PLEASE???? TEEHEE! KM too, thanks ah bro. Know me the best k! (Mind you, i'm touching my heart and telling you the truth hor, hehe) Thanks sweets, appreciate it loads :P

Fallen

2010-02-01T22:48:00.000+08:00

Was supposed to work today but i didn't turn up. So i went all the way to Tampines, to meet this boy before he book in into his camp, after school. A very short and fine meet up. Now i know why he hate it when i want to send him back in camp cos sumpah i felt the same way too baby. HAHA i was just putting up a show so you won't get too worried over me. Aww right, i know hehe^.^ Then just look at him in his uniform. HEHEHHEHEHE, adorable kan? OMG GERAM! I can't wait for this saturday, boleh jumpa mat handsome ni lagi. Yay! But the f-ed up part is that i'm working afternoon shift. SIGHZXZXZX. K at least, there's something for me to look forward to. TEEHEE!! Love you baby!!

whats up pussycat

2010-01-28T21:23:00.000+08:00

K seriously Shahira, stop skipping school. This year is your critical year babe!!! Please be more serious. Get this O's done and over with. Then you'll enjoy like fuck k babe? Starting by next week, change your bloody attitude. This is for your own good, don't waste this one year. You've pick your choice so live with it! You can do this, girl. YES YOU CAN! (My god, ckp je. Confirm tk buat -.-'''. Sampai bila ira??) And aku take care when Haziq read this :/

Since Haziq's in field camp for 5-6days, i tried to keep myself busy by going to school(except for today), doing productice school work(say, my 1st&2nd-week-of-homeworks?), spending time w friends, asking my babygals to come over to my house today and have a karoake session. TEEHEE. Yeap, doing this just to make myself occupied so i wont think about him :) Well it helps at some times. 2more days and i can't wait to shower him with xoxoxoxo! HEHEHE^^

Hmm what else to say eh? Tomorrow i'm working, and must be my last day meeting Weiyi i guess? Omg i'm so going to miss him :(((((

I hate farewells, eh baby? Oh ya, mom told me this CNY we're going to Batam-.- Nice, baru cancel plan. Da nak pergi lagi :O I don't want to go please? Nak spend time w baby, TEEHEE :P

Smile

2010-01-25T10:43:00.001+08:00

-My weekend went quite okay
-Ok no i'm lying, sunday sucks
-Thats mainly because i worked morning shift and i only had one hour sleep or more like a nap!?
-You guys should see my face @ work
-KM said i looked like i didnt sleep for a thousand years -.-
-Justin said "Eh your face cacat sia."
-Trust me, that's the last thing i wanna hear from Justin man. Bcos he totally mean that.
-Anw i love his vans shoes ^^
-HAHAHA sidetrack, @ taka(my level), there's people who is childish x100 :P
-LOL k work joke, tk kn fhm nye korang.
-Backtrack, my body hurts throughout the day, i really wonder why?
-Plus, i didn't go for the FP gathering
-Ergh i hate talking about that. Bodoh bodoh bodoh!!
-I bet they all had fun, i can promise you that
-Come on la, poolside bbq party ok!? :((
-TSK! I missed out all the fun!!
-To sum that up, H is back in camp.
-But the best part was i slept for 12hours, wooo i had plenty of rest ytd gtu kan.
-TEEHEE!
-Saturday was well spent with H and my babies :)
-After work, met him at cityhall and headed down to Marina Sq to get movie tixs
-Legion was er okay, they can do better honestly.
-H thinks the show was fun -.-
-Slacked by the padang and H kept taking pics-yg-tkde-motive.
-By 2am, we cabbed to Shaf's place.
-Shaf's face was priceless and she thought H was a ghost???
-Mini surprise birthday for Idah!
-Mind you, she was half awake k that time.
-I luv the brownie Shaf bought for her yummy please
-Talked, laughed and kept forcing Idah not to go sleep which eventually yes she did.
-H went home way earlier than me while i was asleep :(
-Woke up at 7-8plus and got ready for work.
-Then back to my pathetic schedule, work work work work and more work.
-I didnt attend school today. So does Shaf.
-Ape nak jadi dgn budak budak skrg! Cheeeey!
-Meeting Idah after school later on for our mini lunch and to finish up our hmwk.
-I'm broke.
-I want my pay :(
-I want more free time from work.
-I really need my life back.
-I got pretty jealous whenever i see my friends with new updated pictures hanging out with their mates.
-I used to be like that last time :(
-SEDIH PE HIDOP AKU!
-On a brighter note, I'm starting to like my weekends teehee :)
-K da bye, imy baby♥ & i'm addcited to jay sean's song hehehe

Happy advanced 17th, Bestfriend :) I love you till death i promise you that. Through ups and downs, i'll always be there for you ok? Now you're older, it's time for you think more wisely. I love you la cullen! Bye la, the more i write the more aku nak nangis sebab aku touched w my own birthday speech. HAHAHA mcm cb. Syg kau ♥ Enjoy your big day babe.

hold me tight

2010-01-22T20:30:00.000+08:00

Sial ah i'm out of pictures. Just look at how pathetic i am, taking pic w webcam. HAHA k tak, ni aku boring. Erm erm, 2 weeks not updating my blog. I can't recall what i did the past few days or last two weeks. I've been neglecting work these days. Like today i wanted to go to work but mom just washed my jeans so i have no other black pants to wear so i just made up a reason -.- Moreover, i was dead beat after Camp Viva.

I hate Camp Viva. Ok besides first day of camp which include the Swensens, games&getting to knonw that G wasn't that bad after all. Hehe lol! Plus, the public speaking workshop which happens on the 2nd day. That's it. I cannot believe the activity that i was looking forward the most turn out to be a disaster; night hike. Well it's true what people say, don't get all excited for something cos you might not expect the least expected aye? Hmm.

Haha sidetrack, Justin called me just now and said that i was being ridiculous asking for full shift tmr to cover up today's hours. Errrrr? Tak faham ah ni mat yoyo.

So things between me and H, idk, to me it looks like its getting better? Hehe spent my previous weekend w him and his friends in town. Nice bunch of people and funny hahahaha :) But when the day was coming to an end, something popped up :( Sigh never want that to happen again. Cb! Tak suke fikir pasal tu, seram siol tengok die marah. So on a brighter note, i'm meeting him tomorrow! Yay miss you bitch xoxo teehee!

K bye i'm shagged i'm gonna get some rest chiaoz

2.

2010-01-07T14:11:00.000+08:00

It's only the first week of twenty10 and school of course. I don't really fancy my class :/ I still prefer 4b2. Hate the idea of the teachers play mahjong during the holidays and mixed all of us up in different classes. Argh, i don't mind suffering for one year for good results. BUT, suffering w different classmates is a whole lot of another story. Sigh!! I'll be having Aspire camp like next 2 weeks? I'm not looking forward to it i guess. I don't know. The activites we're gonna have is ahh weird? Say, we have to dress up formally and will be going to orchard to eat at some restaurant to show us dining etiquette. Nice (Y) And we'll be having a night walk. It's like night walk is an important activity that the school must have it almost every Aspire camp?

O level results will be next week, I'm jz waiting for my DnT result. Mr Hooi asked me to retake DnT. Wth, please i don't wanna go through the same old thing again. Theory, product, planning, gantt chart, lining up for laser machine, stay back everyday till 9 afta school, urm CAD whatever that computer lesson called. Major tiring okay. I'm still considering i guess. I wanna drop POA. So at least, i can concentrate more on my 5 subjects :) School sucks.

I miss work and i'm gonna work tmr yay! I know its gonna be hella hectic but who cares, this is life. CHEY! I'm still thinking, when i should stop work? End of this month or end of june, i dont know. Today's is Stephen last day of work, aww gonna miss him and his hugo boss perfume butt smell LOL :) Weiyi gonna stop this month, ala aku nye joker :( gonna miss him man. Glad that i will be working with the Mat yoyo and Gangsta eh, hehe :)

I have alot of plans ahead. Getting myself a maths tutor. Oh yea, i've already set the target for my subjects and yes, i'm working towards it :D Still finding the right poly for me, for course yeaaaaa i guess i'm gonna stay put with that. Anyway, it's still early to confirm with one so yup. Besides than that, i have the strong feeling i will work till end of June? I want/need the money, i mean who doesnt? Hahaha! Plus, i've alot in mind what to buy. And to be frankly speaking, the cash for the stuffs i need to buy is not enough. I don't think i will have enough to spend on myself. Aww pity party :(

I didn't attend school today, yup thanks to my blister it's getting worse despite having a nice friend like Nat to nurse me. Haha thank you babe :) 2weeks(&still counting) of not meeting H. Gah, he'll only book out from camp next friday so that will add up to 3weeks-.- PLUS! I'm working so don't think have the time to meet him either if he book out. I miss you la babi ♥

2010-01-03T16:46:00.000+08:00

one reason why i'm always looking forward to work :)

run baby run

2010-01-01T18:59:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 2010 :)

surround me

2009-12-28T01:08:00.001+08:00

1) been wanting to post a proper update.
2) like finally, i can touch the laptop. *molesting the lappy*
3) 'Miskuzi! Miskuzi!' HAHAHAHA eurotrip -.-
4) celebrated advanced with H after getting my N's results
5) wish nights like that never end so fast :( though he forced me to meet him
6) i enjoyed every minute with him hehe thank you
7) eve of big day, i was working.
8) mind you, afternoon shift?!?!?!
9) my mind was 3/4 away from work
10) met H to fetch I
11) surprise birthday song
12) was blushing so obviously pls, paiseh
13) they're sweet like candy though hehe
14) cabbed home
15) was supposed to work on 201209
16) asked for off
17) midnyte movie w my 2 best people wooo~
18) azhar jz chatted with me in msn.
19) long time or what! that pakcik tsk tsk haha :)
20) hasn't been talking much with H :( uoyssimi
21) sick and take off for nothing few days ago
22) work sucks
23) can't stop thinking hard & hasn't been myself lately
24) it's not normal to see myself changing
25) im happy but scared the same time, how?
26) new yrs in few days time
27) not ready for 2010
28) school too
29) it's 1:02 am i should go to sleep
30) did i tell u i was late 1hr for work jz now
31) argh tell u i've been neglecting work nowadays sigh
32) anw H called me jz now, happy sekejap gtu kn
33) idk what else to say
34) happy 18th sis :)
35) met Bett & Shandy at gran's place ytd
36) hang around at reservoir and took pics.
37) bro ride me home :) he smell like H
38) mcm cb
39) ape lagi eh, oh yea i made it to sec 5
40) yay
41) prefer to be alone these days, i jz wanna meet u :( bye

2009-12-23T13:56:00.000+08:00

I believe things happen for a reason.
I love you with all my heart, even words can't describe this feelings.
Everyone knows that.
Please, don't leave me.

Hp camera pon okay pe?

2009-12-18T12:00:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA MCM SIAL *sings the sial song*

Wanna die?!

2009-12-16T11:37:00.001+08:00

3 more days till doomsday. Nice.

&, 5 more days till i grow one year older.

Can it get any worse?

It's better to leave it broken than to hurt yourself trying to fix it.

2009-12-13T21:49:00.003+08:00

I wanted to buy a christian's cross' ring at forever 21 just now. Cheap, black and simple but i didn't get it, no idea why. Maybe i'm getting it tomorrow during my break time or after work. Anyway, since i'm home early from work today, i managed to view some fashion blogs. The pictures made me missed taking good pictures with the babes :( I hardly have any time for myself. I'm not blaming work though. Talking about work, glad that i've been getting a hang on it. I guess i think too much the previous post. I KNOW RIGHT, i'm so fickled but time passed by, things changed. I miss watching TV too! Especially Fashion Tv and Star Movies. Bleah!

Hmm, so i was thinking of painting my nails green after my results. Sidetrack, results!!!! My results day is gonna be this friday. I don't know what to expect, honestly. Thank you to those who wished me good luck. I really need them i must admit, HAHA.

I'm so tired. Imma gonna grab a lil bit food in kitchen for dinner cum supper then i'm off to gran's.

Not the best part

2009-12-12T02:23:00.002+08:00

Work for the money sake but at the same time you need to get closer with the rest of the colleagues so you can communicate better and work in a more fun environment. People says age is just numbers. Only god knows how hard i'm trying to believe in that theory because now i'm having the most difficult moment dealing with them :( At times, actually most of the time, i do feel like quitting my job but i really wanna work this out. I just don't know where to start. I hate feeling like this, so demoralised. Honestly, this is worse than heartbreaks. It's like you wanna cry your heart out but it's choking inside because you'll think you're just plain dumb to cry over ridiculous matter.

I'm not looking forward for anything these days aside from my breaktime and the few minutes before i call it a day before my work end. Yeah, not looking forward for my birthday either since i'm working too. Sigh, plain pathetic. It's just few days away so the results day too.

I don't know what to expect everytime i wake up the next day for a new beginning. I used to expect the best every single day because i kinda practice it at home since i read something about it. Now, it's just not working on me. I kept acting like nothing was wrong and they did notice it but i kept lying. I'm so bad at pulling off lies that eventually they've got used to it, believing my words.

I hate work. That's it, i've said it.

2009-12-09T12:21:00.000+08:00

guess my doomsday was jz abt to start. ytd was the worse. i still cannot get it out of my head. only god knows how guilty am i right now. and to the group of guys, no money no talk la sial. JZ FUCK OFF LA FUCKTARDS.

gonna treat myself laksa today. i hope my pay come in alr please, i'm desperate for $$ now..

Work.

2009-11-30T21:10:00.000+08:00

FP gathering last night was great, thanks to KM/Justin/Stephen&Weiyi for pestering me to go if not i will miss it out all the fun, teehee :) Met staffs from other FP outlets, i cannot deny all of them are surprisingly sweet people! I'm glad i came down :D Well let's just pray the sales month will run smoothly yozxzx. So shahira, GET READY TO GET BUSY!!!!!

I'm not working today, that's great but i don't think i spent my time well today. Got awaken up so early in the morning to go for some visiting. Went all the way to Jln Bahar and got to know the body has already dikebumikan. HOW NICE OF THEM FOR NOT TELLING US EARLIER. I was damn pissed for sure!!!!!!! I was starving like some asshole, still sleepy and restless after the gathering!!!! THANKS EH, MMG BUKAN REZEKI KORANG-.-

Not only that, i wasn't satisfied after eating like i usually do. The coffee shop is literally so unhygienic!?!?!? The food is cold?!!?!?!?!??!?! WHAT ON EARTH!! I never know Spore has such coffee shops. ERGH I RATHER GO TO WORK, STARVE MYSELF TILL BREAKTIME AND TALK TO THE GUYS I SWEAR..

TODAY IS SUCKED A FUCKED UP MONDAY. I HATE MONDAYS.

Lesbians panas.

2009-11-25T18:09:00.000+08:00

I get really pissed off everytime i hear his name or their names. So annoying. Damn siol aku ngn korang, ergh! Its 1745, nice i tweeted jz nw, saying i will be heading to the library today. Sidetrack, note the 'tweeted', since when there's a past tense for it LOL. Ok back track, just look at the time!! I'm so lazy to get out of bed and shower arghhh ye la da mengadap pe, semue malas (Y) I'm not working today, i can't deny they're actually more friendly than the chinese guys i ever known. One example, exdate aku.

My breakfast cum lunch cum dinner >>>>

(Perangai anjing, siape kisah)

YUP! BIG BAG OF HOT&SPICY POTATO CHIPS + CRANBERRY DRINK YAY!!! IT'S NICE OK THOUGH NOT FULFILLING BCOS DUH ITS JUNK FOOD. STILL ITS NICE WOOOO NOW MY INITIAL PLAN IS TO HAVE MCDONALD AFTER I RETURN MY BOOKS THIS IS SO EXCITING BYE

Pls dont be difficult can?

2009-11-24T22:38:00.000+08:00

See you in Mid-December ):
I'm starting to like work, is that a good thing? I hope..

strawberryz 4 breakfast

2009-11-23T01:00:00.000+08:00

-40$ for approximately a 3hrs job?
-i promise u it was plain boring but for $$ sake, i survived!
-did a lil shopping
-got myself cute rings
-i ate alot this week and im happy about it
-i notice im gaining weight too, oh wells
-time was well spent with ath the past few days teehee
-luv my nails anw, did manicure hehe
-drama drama and more drama
-good thing i got a hang on it b4 it actually got real bad
-saturday was atrocious
-yogurt, cockles fried kway teow and bestfr quality time made my day
-waited hadi to end work, getting hotter each day i can't deny, must be the hair
-went back home with ath
-bused 14 home
-walked home in the cold cold night alone, NICE
-did i mention i was wearing a super short shorts?
-not only that drunken malay guys disturbed me, great! -.-
-oh em gee i luv the smell of my hair, so nice weeee
-what happens in vegas & twilight today was awesome
-at home i meant hehe
-rudiie's heading to hong kong tiz tue and will be back home this 28th?! wtf will miss u bitch!
-someone told me he's not gonna get drunk anymore
-but oh look, he lost his stuffs due to being drunk?!
-congrats serve u right..
-pls terase whoever it may concern k AHAHAHA deep down i still heart u :)
-abg baby's not home yet from his reservist, miss him though since i've got ALOT to tell.
-time check its 0058
-work starts at 1000 tmr arghhhh great (Y)
-butter at 24th, who's up 4 it? :)

2009-11-18T18:45:00.001+08:00

Me @sheyraonthemove Babe that night was awesome but why everyone's making a big fuss over something that's already over?

sheyraonthemove @Me Idk man.. Told them already it was a mistake but they wouldn't listen.

NINJA!!

2009-11-15T20:22:00.000+08:00

When Korean actors goes to Hollywood, hehe^^ i can't wait for the movie to come out, i'm so gonna catch it first! K bedek ah, hahaha. BORED SIOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL -.-

Electrify!

2009-11-14T22:45:00.001+08:00

I can't imagine myself with that heels. Oh my god.

Class chalet

2009-11-13T00:50:00.000+08:00

Class chalet was oooooooooooooookay.. I personally think that it will be way more interesting or better if all of us were there. Ohwells. Still, i had fun:] Anw i decided to stay for another night since i forced Idah to take off that day, lol syg kau slalu xoxo. All i did was eat/sleep/tv/bbq/walk around aimlessly/eat again/sleep too/stay in the room dozing off/munch on chips/blackjack/chat/laugh. No life i know but the company lighten up everything hehehe. The best part is the BBQ food, fuuh shiok (Y)!! Special thanks to Wan's family for supplying the food, ZE BEST! Makan je banyak2 smpi gemok as long as i'm happy yayz! HAHAHA -.- Moving on, sleepless nights accompanied by chicken yumz!/cuci mata tgk hot bapoks omg hot k hot girls pon kalah/idah's only-god-knows-how-loud-is-her-laughter-in-my-EAR!/fav chips hehe^^/MJ12/Gameboy/texting all the way.. Wah too much to list out. Bye lazy to update. See picz sua. Multiply

I really feel think that i'm getting darker. Mcm sial ah!!

forgive and forget!!

2009-11-10T18:16:00.000+08:00

Today woke up quite early and accompanied mom to NTUC for grocery shopping. I love grocery shopping!! I can buy anything i want like anything everything. Usually mom tend to forget to buy the ingredients for my favourite dishes so tadaaaa self-rescued myself -.- HAHAHAH! Well at least this lighten up my day, hehe. Moving on, i can't wait for tmr. Ok aside from the work interviews(again, sigh), tmr is class chalet day!! YAY!!! Asal aku excited, aku pon tak tau. Hope i can meet that pantat tmr since im around his area. K bye peace out chiaoz.

I'll be my own reflection

2009-11-09T16:45:00.001+08:00

I don't know what else to say. I hate November. I really do.

stuck

2009-11-06T16:05:00.001+08:00

"Every now and then when I'm all alone
I'd be wishing that you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me back but you never do
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do
I'm such a fool for you" -Stacie Orrico

ohwells.

Dealing with Difficult People

2009-11-05T16:57:00.000+08:00

Ok i must admit he's cute. So far, this is my only favourite song from him. :]

It's 4.49 pm. I can tell that i'm going to be late later. Promised mum last night that i will clean mok's house, tidy up my bed and closet but not even one is done. What more i'm meeting Idah and Fina at expo later at night. Not really a good day today, sigh don't feel like talking about it. Just pray hard that i wont have to go for another round. *bismillah*

Ytd, Fina and Idah accompanied me to the library to borrow some books for me to read at home. Yeap, made some video and slack!

Not much la, holz sucks la please. I jz cant wait for class chalet.

Best I've ever Had

2009-11-03T18:41:00.000+08:00

Woke up late today and i was literally taking my own sweet time calling people when i know i'm very late for my paper already. My initial plan was not to go for the paper at all. Confident ah ask Saba to inform teacher i will be taking MC. End up, rushed into the class mcm mad woman. Lucky thing Abg Baby was at home so he sent me to school, phew. Apart from that, i must thank my one and only Mr H aka perasan busted Justin(& his friend) for forcing me to go to school. If not i will be rotting at home, feeling guilt-ridden all the time. Promised to call him later if not aku busted gile, like what he said.

Paper shiok. I didn't study any single thing so basically, i was just filling up the blanks with anything i know. Finally all of my exams are over!! So as a mini celebration, i bought myself Ananas' chicken rice and Green Apple Milkshake and ate it at home. Yeap. HAHAHA sounds more like normal food consume.

You really like playing around the bushes that you don't even realise you've hurt my feelings):

Confident Conversations

2009-11-02T20:12:00.004+08:00

The reason why i keep on updating my blog regularly is because i'm starting to be lifeless. Yes people, LIFELESS. I'm starting to feel a lil bit worried that SM hasn't called me since the past few days. I'm so worried that they won't call me like, forever. Please, i'm too tired to go for another job hunting. :( Plus, what will i do if i have no work to do? Ok, no work=no money=no life!!! I don't want any of that!!!!! Nvm, just be patience babe.

Woke up at 12+ in the afternooon just now and woken up by a call. Haha, my god, just the thought of it already makes me smile:) Wanted to study but it was raining heavily and man, the weather keeps me in like obviously. Read Dr. Lillian Glass book and got really addicted to it. Basically, i was just rotting the hell out of me. Slept later in the day and watch anime online-.- Now i'm facing a dilema if i should call him or study first? Hmm.

Tomorrow is my DnT paper and not surprising, i didn't revise anything. I bet my other DnT classmates are already prepared, like totally prepared. I lost my O's entry proof. I don't even know what time the paper starts. I don't even know what day is it today. I don't keep track of the days anymore like i used to bcos of school. To add that up, now i don't look forward for weekends anymore because everyday is like weekends, to me. I must admit, i miss school. I told you, i'm lifeless arghhhhh. And yes, I just feel like taking a MC for tomorrow but i know one day i'll regret for doing it.

Suddenly i miss feeling belonged.

Cuzs.

2009-10-31T13:06:00.000+08:00

I was late, again. I was supposed to meet Shandy alone at cityhall then surprise surprise, Herda was there too! I was like, 'Eh eh?! Tk keje!?' HAHAHA happy kwn! Eh tak, happy sedare! K merepek. Bought my jeans and trained to Town after that. Like again. I've been going to town the past few days. Naik jelak and penat please. Dined in at Nana Thai since Shandy wants to. Bought ourselves claypot rice. Yummyz i was starving i swear, i didnt eat the whole day except for 2 epok-epok-.- Pathetic much? So we had our smoke break after eating and i saw some familiar faces, oh wells. Headed down to Wisma since Herda wanna show a jacket in F21. Window-shopped since it's been long i stepped into a shop and see the clothes. After sometimes, sat somewhere behind taka and catch things up. Yeap, that's pretty much it. At 9plus, we're already heading our way home.

So herda and i were planning another cousin day out including Sue and Ath. I can't wait yayz. Da selamat bye aku lapar nak makan. :]

Rambot aku bau Silkpro!

2009-10-30T11:32:00.005+08:00

Wow long time since i really updated my blog. It's just that i don't have anything in mind to write or share with you guys. But aside from that, two days ago, we celebrated Wahdiah's advanced 16th somewhere near Marina after Shaf's work. So i had the chance to meet up with Syamsiah and Diah since it's been ages we last met up. We did a lil catch up by playing true and dare. K bedek we played all true HAHA and Shaf is being such a maniac *coughs! HAHA :P Around 9plus, Shaf and I rushed back home while the rest stay behind to wait for their friends cum dates cum boyfriend. Haha! On our way back home, Shaf was telling me about someone and i can't help smiling to myself about it LOOOOOL mcm budak gile pulak! Reached home at 10-ish and called Z after a moment. I swear i was noisy throughout the talk HAHAHAH he said i'm childish and stubborn. :/ Standard ah ira, haha. Hanged up at 1am i guess as i need my sleep for the next day.

Woke up at 6am sharp! When i woke up, i dont rmb i was asleep before that or something like that. I want to sleep more but i wasn't tired, that's the worst. To kill time, listened to 98.7FM. K sidetrack. I can't stop laughing when a guy told Young that he had to force open a bus door to get out of the bus. He was asleep in the bus throughout the night and the bus driver didn't even wake him up? Weird or what!? Either the bus driver is crazy or that guy is lying, cume Allah saje la yang tau. Ini cume setakat hiburan aje. HHAHAHHAHA-.-

Kk back to business, get ready by 7plus and met Fina, Idah and Saba at Clementi. We head down to Potong pasir and i swear the weather was blazing hotzx! What more, we were lost in the housing estate. Semue bungalow! End up, the building was somewhere across the street-.- Fina was late for the interview of cos and the building, mak oi aircon tak makan pe? By the time Fina ended her interview, i was already dead beat totally. Bused to Toa Payoh and took the train towards town. Meanwhile, we bumped into Emman. Haha mcm tau2 je we were around there. Parted with Emman at Orchard since he's going to school. Sat outside Ion and i was sweating all over not bcos of the weather but i was damn sick nervous for the interview!

So after my interview, lunched at Cahaya and followed Fina and Idah to centrepoint. I must admit, ytd's walking=marathon. Looool serious2, was tired la pls! But worth the walk right babes? Hehe^^ Slacked at Heeren's Mac and bused home. Reached home around 6. Online for awhile and by 9plus i was already asleep. Penat giler babi! Abeh si pantat tu call. Cb made fun of my voice.

H: Hello?
Me: Hello, ape?

H: Eh! *laughs* Tidor pe?

Me: A'ah la, penat sia.

H: Abeh asal suare gtu? Turn off sia. *laughs*

Me: Penat la.

H: *laughs* Kk gi tido bye nights.

Me: Ah k.

Aku tau someday kau bace ni tu pasal i post this up. Haha tkde link. I am meeting up Shandy and Herda today i can't wait, long time since we last met up too. Gonna buy a pair of jeans and i wanna dine in at Mac and eat Mega Mcspicy since ytd's plan tak menjadi with Sissy. Yeap, i really need to study if not i will fail my paper. Sunday ah baru aku belajar. Tah tu betol2 belajar ke tak, Allahwa'lam!

And you know whattttttt, i wanna change my blog skin k da selamat bye. ♥

i dont know

2009-10-27T14:13:00.000+08:00

Can you believe it? 3rd Nov is my DnT paper and i haven't yet start anything on revising on flipping thru my textbook. I just dont know where to start. There's like 4 chapters? Somehow i just dont feel like taking the paper. ARGHH! Moving on, i really think i'm pathetic. I'm saving a few cents in my hp for Gap or Steve Madden to call me. And yes, SM omg!! Hope they will call me up *praying hard

Ytd, woke up late again and didn't go for the volunteery work. AGAIN! My god, i'm so not giving a good first impression! Since last week! The other time i went but i was lost -.- From Bukit Merah to Great World City? OMG WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING. In the end, i didn't go yayz-.-

What's becoming of me? I dont know man.

yesterday

2009-10-22T17:28:00.005+08:00

I'm tired of;

Saying sorry when it's not my fault

Cracking my brain to think of another word to say instead of sorrys

Listening to you whining and complaining over small shits

Expecting for a better day the moment i wake up the next day, but it turn out to be the same like any other days

People who come and go in life

Being controlled

Trying my best to be someone else just to impress you

Life

Dramas

You

when you believe

2009-10-21T13:03:00.001+08:00

I. AM. A. TUITION. TEACHER. AND. I. AM. VERY. VERY. PROUD. OF. IT.

How's your weekend?

2009-10-18T20:29:00.006+08:00

My end of the week was quite a surprising week but yet i still enjoy it with the close ones. I must say i met the unexpected one quite a number of times the past few days. And it's really embarrassing especially on the Friday, OMG!!!! Ok just the thought of it will make me so pissed, make me wanna shout in my pillow. Wtv ugh!

13. Newborn

2009-10-15T16:28:00.003+08:00

I. Want. Her. Dress. Badly.

11. Legends

2009-10-14T19:02:00.001+08:00

Fina said i'm extra extra jambu today. Must be the specs on eh!-.- HAHA and check out my blue nails~ Actually, i thought the color was too flashy(line picked up from the nail lady, she's pretty btw) but it was ok la actually, i luv it. I didn't attend sch today, tmr too i won't be turning up. Lazy pls? What more Mr Hooi is not around in school.

I'm done with my N level papers anw, like finally. I've been thinking to find work after the papers, like now but to think back with the age like mine (15+, i know -.-) I can hardly find any good pay-job. YES IT'S ALL ABT THE MONEY!! Just so you know, i'm very very very desperate for money right now! Ok partly, i want to find job bcos idk what to do of the extended free time i have during the holidays. Guess i'll just find a job thru lobangs or by titik peluh aku sendiri! Chey-.- If not, i will just do some volunteery work and earn some money at home hehe hopefully.

I feel that i've alr stop socializing with the people around me like i used to last time. Is it just me not realising that i'm starting to be more arrogant now or the people that are just trying to avoid me?? Wtv, it doesn't really matter.

welcome back

2009-10-06T09:47:00.005+08:00

I feel so bad neglecting my blog here omg! *blow dust/spiderwebs away!

Ok i'm gonna officially use blogger thru out! Nothing else, no LJ, no wordpress, no tumblr or onsugar or xanga! Well in case blogger need to do some breakdown or something like that, it will be time to make a move isnt it. There's just too much memories in here and i'm used to the changes here yay!

Ok let's talk about me life. Hmm, today i will be having my Maths Paper 1 at 2. It's weird bcos i should be studying or sleeping right now(Just look at the time, its 9am) but i'm using the lappy hehe just can't help it yoz. Ytd was my Chem/Bio paper. I must admit, Chemistry paper was easy, just hope that i can at least score well for it, amin. And people thought i cheated in exam bcos i did smth STUPID after the paper-.- Bio was OMG! I must say it's quite tough. Ok maybe i didnt fully study. I just can't wait for my maths paper to be over man, em killer!! Should i be worrying for the papers or my result? Idk..

So anw, on friday, will be going to Fizah's place. On saturday, will be going for raya with the HF. And on the sunday, i will follow mom and aunts to Johor. I hope i'm not the only teen there:/ k sidetrack, btw, i'm not gonna chiong for my POA paper bcos i know and i BELIEVE i will do it v badly so that explains why i'm out after my geog paper heh-.-ok fine maybe just memorise my TPL and flip thru some notes. HAHAHA

I want New Moon now.

NEW YORK I LUV YOU

2009-09-15T13:41:00.000+08:00

Shia Labeouf, Orlando Bloom, Hayden Christensen?! What a perfect combination?! I can't wait for the movie!!!

Ben wishaw is adorable just look at him! The trailer is really romantic and again,i cant wait for the movie to come out.

Hari Raya is 5 days away? I'm still not ready for it! Ok bcos tmr is my DnT prelim paper and im not really sure what does it have to do with Hari Raya celebration? Lol :x Btw, i really have no idea what to study for DnT, feel like skipping it but this would be a great opportunity for me to practice:( Shitz. I've yet to buy my Raya heels! Dammit. But ANYWAY, i'm not really looking forward to raya. Yea well except for the food hehe but besides than that, suasana kemeriahan nya tidak ada. Mungkin sebab saya terlalu bimbang kan peperiksaan N level saya yang akan datang itu?? Ish takde la. Ada or tak ada exam, sama juga perasaan nya. HAHAHAH

Alot of sms/call raya wishes from frenz+Lagu raya playing non-stop in the radio+Pretty kelap kelip all night long case tak syg nyawa nak earth mati cepat waste electricity+Cleaning house like maha spring cleaning during eve of raya+No sch notes during celebration+Eating yumful kuih raya case mcm kat rumah takde kuih sendiri+Mengeratkan Silaturahim sesama family+Makan glorious foodz mcm bulan puasa tu tak makan ape2 bila time buka gitu+"Eh korang! Kejap ah sia, kaki aku sakit ni pakai heelz ):" Padahal baru 2 rumah-.-+Budak kecik jakon main bunga api+Bau minyak atar bapak aku menusuk kalbu early in the morning+Guyz solat raya kasot kene rompak pagi2 balek complain kat mak= NOW THAT'S THE ATMOSPHERE OF HARI RAYA.

Got time to add more, add ah korang bye selamatz!

New Perspective

2009-09-13T16:42:00.003+08:00

Me: Tu semue kawan kau pe?
Him: Takmo ckp kwn, ni brothers aku.
Me: Asal?
Him: I'm not the same guy you used to know when i was in primary school, decent..
Me: Why?
Him: Aku main baju.

I had to admit, i miss my primary school friends very much.

lets play the game of mind shall we

2009-09-08T22:01:00.001+08:00

Mind me, the previous post was an underground shit and badly ATROCIOUS so i decided to delete it up. Plus,if cikgu murad were to see that, sakit jantung orang tua.Oh my! I still remember when Emman asked me to do some Rated 16 stuff for 5$! :P And the stupid thing is that i actually agreed but failed. Muka aku priceless! Pray hard Emman&Indra didn't see it.

Anyways, SS was a killer! Ok not quite. I didn't finish up my last question! It's annoying when suddenly everything you studied/memorised get into your head at the last 10minutes! Mana cukup time tu! Wtv, the paper is done with. Looks like i have to chiong my Geog! Eh do u know that, The japanese believes that if someone has a small forehead means they have a small brain,HAHAHAHA!!?(Ah tgk/rasa forhead korang!LOL!)

Moving on, i watched Goal 2! just now. Can't deny, it's a good show, what more Kuno Becker is so cute! OMG *meltz listening to his voice hehe^^ I shall try to catch Goal 3 next!

♥ makes the world go round

2009-09-04T00:00:00.000+08:00

Hanneli Mustaparta

Suddenly i feel the urge to continue growing taller again now. And she's very preeeeety please :( i want her hair.

im not supposed to use the laptop now but since i've finished revising for the day why not use the laptop right? plus my brother's not home, apa lagi enjoy ah! -.-

and to whoever it may be concern, just to remind you that, i have something that is called FEELINGS. even if you dont have one, thats ur bloody problem but maybe you should start thinking about others' okay?

Who am i?

2009-09-01T12:23:00.002+08:00

Not too sure myself but i know the girl in the picture is sure hot! -.- bye

Empty Streets

2009-08-26T04:20:00.001+08:00

It's 4am and i just woke up 30mins ago. I've yet to find a baby socks for my folio, should have ask from Mr Hooi. Now i have to go next door to ask for it which i doubt i will.

I hate one-level-stop-lift. Its slow and people is taking advantage of it. Stay at Level 2 also want to take the lift! Go and exercise la take the stairs.*cough cough* (Referring to Idah too, LOL!) Adding up to it, because of this inconsiderate block neighbours, i'm the one who have to take the stairs. Tengok aja korang, one day i'm gonna make you guys wait for the lift. I'm gonna press the every buttons level. Goodluck eh waiting -.- Sekian,terima kasih.

Fix you

2009-08-24T00:27:00.002+08:00

"When you try your best,but you don't succeed.

When you get what you want,what not what you need.

When you feel so tired,but you can't sleep.

Stuck in reverse."-Fix you, Coldplay.

Home cum Hell

2009-08-21T19:11:00.001+08:00

I didn't attend school today. Okay mainly bcos someone online said to me yesterday night that i will wake up late and wont go to school-.- Yay your wish is granted. But i intended to go school though i'm late bcos i had parents teachers session today. Only that SOMEONE at home showing me some real kick ass attitude that eventually i changed my mind not to go. -.-

Yesterday, met up with the usualls for night study. I was extra happy yesterday i dont know why? Joked around with Fizah and ended up, i didn't study. YAYYYYYYY so anws i'm kinda upset bcos for 2yrs straight(including tiz yr) i didnt get the chance to fast for the first week. Thanks to the upcoming moon/datang bulan hahaha -.- Its like i dont feel the excitement with the rest who is fasting): At the same time, during breaking fast, i will be left out okay! Bcos i didnt fast. No fast=No food during break fast. I know it doesnt make sense but that's how my family roll yo! Wait till i can fast again, after buka i will be doing terawih with Fizah. Insyallah :D

I saw Ms Iris Ng with pizzas yesterday in workshop.

Me: Pizzas, saba.
Mr Hooi: Don't worry next week is our turn. Thursday evening.
(I was talking to Saba, note that people.)
Me: We puasa already la cher.
Saba: Ya la. Eh nvm ah, when we want to break our fast then we eat the pizzas together.

You know what does that means.
Free pizza pada malam Jumaat/
Free buka puasa with Mr hooi.
Cannot miss this DnT lesson.
HAHAHAHAHHA perangai macam anjing.

BYEEEEEE Happy berpuasa :]

Last paper.

2009-08-18T16:17:00.000+08:00

Yet i don't feel the excitement bcos it's not the end of N level. It's just the beginning for crying out loud. THIS IS JUST PRELIM. I still have to finish up my coursework. GAHHHHHH ONLY GOD KNOWS HOW LAZY AM I RIGHT NOW.

BUT BUT, i must persevere. I cannot be lazy!

Anyways, my brother has been blaming me for his spoilt laptop. He said, "Ira, u cannot touch our stuffs ah, confirm spoil. Go was your hands first." -.-! Okay fine i admit the things i used always ended up spoilt. But it's not my fault. Maybe it's just a coincidence that my hp once dropped from the third floor while i was in the toilet, that my earpiece spoilt after few days after i bought it, (note: it's phillips k.) the recent is brandless but whatever it's spoilt too bcos i pulled it too hard. It must be the glue or something, really.

There's alot actually.

-My brother's mp3, i remembered its the earpiece that is not working but i keep hitting the mp3 on the table. So it explains the crack on the screen and it couldnt even switched on): I MEAN LIKE SERIOUSLY, HOW DUMB CAN I BE.
-My sister's hp, Motorola, i think it fall quite a number of times but i didn't give a damn till the screen has lots of lines.
-2 of my brother's hp. First was the same case as my sister's hp. The second, i think it must be some kind of a keypad problem.
-My LAPTOP. There was some internet problem that day so i started to 'explore' (im very curious u see,lol). I dont know what i clicked till the keyboard did not work anymore. Thats fine, my brother bought a keyboard for me and yay i forgotten my password. TILL NOW. Better still, i did something to the startup system of my laptop and it somehow disabled my laptop or something? I dont know. I DONT SPEAK COMPUTERS BUT I'VE GOTTA FEELING I DID SOMETHING REAL BAD TO IT. HEH.
-My brother's laptop. Was it me who did it? EH NO! I used it the whole day and yeaaa it must be me i think. The screen was spoilt. Again.
-Psp too, the keypad):
-Mom's microwave too. HAHAHA this is funny. I wanted to rush for school so i heat my food to the maximum temperature eventually the food was burnt so the microwave. I dont know how but yea loool funny nye. -.-

So, it must be an accident right you spoilt something? Like me yay.

ANW i wanna buy G.I.JOE's comic before watching the show. OHYES i read warcraft comics. I KNOW RIGHT. I hated it so much but it was good actually hehe. Early morning students read notes for exam but yea i read the comic. HAHAH OMG SHAHIRA STOP.

I have alot to say but i dont know. Tomorrow is his birthday should i call? I CAN'T THINK.

I screwed my POA paper just now, i left a 20marks qn blank. YAYYYYY i screwed my life too. BYE.

I want Hayden Christensen!